A Modern-Day Alice

I'm sitting here blowing my Saturday trying to figure out why the hell the wireless all-in-one printer that I bought over a year ago suddenly doesn't play nicely with me anymore. I have the interwebs. I have a router for those interwebs. Everything is connected just the way it told  me to connect it. I downloaded the Win 7 software patch. It's sitting right there on my hard drive. And yet...it still tells me that I need the required software to connect my printer.

Why does this have to be so hard? Why do I feel like I need a PhD from MIT to make this work? Don't they know I have tons of other shit I need to be doing? My kitchen floor looks like outside threw up on it. My parakeet is screaming at me to clean his cage. I'm pretty sure my kid is hungry for lunch - and - oh yeah, *I'm* required to make it. So WTF, HP? I know I'm not mentally challenged. And yet, here I am, completely stumped and badly in need of a vodka and lemonade. It's only 12:43 pm.

So I think what I need to do is write a quick want ad. Cuz I need an Alice.

I wish she were at MY house, using her man-hands to clean MY furniture.

Like on The Brady Bunch, only different. Cuz THIS Alice would also have a background in IT. This Alice would not only be able to do our laundry, cook our meals, grocery shop, clean the house, and run our errands, but she would also know how to set up and manage a wireless network. She would know how to set up printers and other wireless devices, she would know how to put all of our music on a huge hard drive and then connect it to our TV's stereo surround sound system (that she would also know how to set up) and then wire the entire house for sound. Yup. And THIS Alice would be totally stoked to do this for a small monthly stipend, all the mac and cheese she could eat, and unlimited access to our Netflix account and Playstation 3. She wouldn't even have to wear a maid's uniform!

So, uh....Anyone know someone that happens to be named Alice that fits these credentials? She has to be named Alice. Has to. And she has to be able to do all that other stuff. You just lemme know...

Oh, and this is my 2nd blog post ever . Turns out I suck at blogging, so I wouldn't get all excited and anticipatory (is that a word?) over my next post. It probably won't happen for a while, if at all. The fact that writing this just sucked another 30 minutes out of my day makes me realize that I'm my own worst enemy. And my printer still doesn't work.

Why am I here?

That's a good question. I'm not really sure.

I'd always wanted to have a blog but thought it needed to have a theme. A point. A reason for reading it. And then I posted a couple of notes in Facebook about my husband's and my progress doing the Clean elimination diet.  I shared it with the friends who I thought might be interested in the experience.  And a couple of them said, "You should have a blog."

So I thought about it, and in those 45 seconds or so, I decided, "Screw it. I'm gonna do this." No central theme, no point, just my ramblings about whatever pops into my head. Hopefully you like it. I hope I do, too.